How To Mentally Prepare To Lose Weight

Warning: Adult language

Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.

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It took me almost 2 years to lose the weight. I've maintained my weight loss for over 6 years now.

Our brains are such assholes most of the time. If we aren’t bashing ourselves for one thing or another, we’re convincing ourselves we can’t accomplish something. We come up with the dumbest shit ever for reasons: I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough energy, I just started this new job, I have to concentrate on other things now, my back hurts, my ass hurts… oh we’ll come up with anything to get ourselves out of some hard work.

Bottom line is anything worth having isn’t just gonna show up on your front porch and jump into your arms when you open the door. And when it comes to losing weight, you can search for a thousand years for that one magic pill or that genie in a bottle but you’re really just wasting time.

I used to search for the quick fix over and over. As soon as my bubble would burst and I’d fail miserably, I’d go back to eating like a sumo wrestler, drop my activity level to a sloth-like level, and faithfully gain what I originally lost and then another 10-30 pounds. Then after all that bullshit, what did I do? I did it all over again. A new trend would show up on the diet train and I would jump right on that bitch. It was like Groundhog’s Day.

You know what else I would do every single time I was about to start a new diet plan? I’d try to take a few weeks first and mentally prepare. I always thought this was a vital step in the process. You know, like gearing up and psyching myself up to do the thing. I would read a bunch of workout plans, weight loss articles, and search for new healthy recipes. I’d buy binders and pretty gel pens to log all my food and exercise deets. I’d promise myself that I was going to do it this time. This time would be different. But three or four months into my new diet, it never failed… I’d fuck it up.

Every. Single. Time.

{Read about my defining moment, my absolute rock bottom in my article, I NEVER SAW HOW FAT I WAS, which propelled me to the start my weight loss journey.}

Why? Why did I keep fucking this up? I am an intelligent woman. How in the world could I not figure this out? I mean, I prepared for this. I studied and researched. Why did I keep failing over and over again.

Here’s why…

I thought mentally preparing meant I needed to gear up to lose weight, to get myself in that healthy mindset, and to know how to lose weight. I thought I needed facts. The truth is all of that stuff is just fine and dandy and it certainly won’t hurt you. But it’s not what you need.

What you need is something on a deeper level and it needs to come from a place that really doesn’t have anything to do with losing weight. It has to do with gaining perspective. So instead of preparing yourself to lose weight, you need to prepare yourself to work through some shit. I’m not talking about working through a hard workout or dealing with a monster craving, that stuff is nothing compared to what I’m talking about. I’m talking about real shit. The shit you’ve been avoiding for years now. All of those emotions, choices, and hardships that drove you to get fat in the first place.

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For over 10 years, I tried to lose weight. Each and every time I would hit the second phase of my journey, I would be face to face with something I had been avoiding, something I'd buried on purpose so I didn't have to deal with it. And every time this would happen, I would let it derail me. I would come up with some bullshit excuse to stop my efforts, because I wasn't ready to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. So I would sabotage myself. I did this because I never mentally prepared myself for it. I just kept hoping it wouldn't happen the next time I tried to lose weight, like somehow the issues that've been eating away at me for half of my life were just going to go poof and be gone.

If you are more than 40 or 50 pounds overweight, you’re eating to cope. I was 120 pounds overweight. Trust me, I was doing my best to eat my problems away. I'd eat until I was so over-stuffed that all I could think about was how my belly felt like it was going to split open. No time to think about life shit. My emotional eating started as a coping mechanism to deal with my problems, but it then BECAME the problem.

{For a deeper look into food addiction, check out my article, "Dealing With Food Addiction."}

Now there are a ton of people who have carried a little extra weight on their frames for years now. I'm not talking about these folks. If you’re only 10 or 20 pounds overweight and you aren’t constantly gaining, this eating-to-cope stuff doesn’t apply to you. You probably just got in a little rut and haven’t found your motivation or maybe a new ice cream shop opened up around the corner. I’m speaking about those of us who eat to medicate. We become obese because of how we are feeling, it has nothing to do with food. Food is just our way to numb ourselves. Bob that lives three doors down might drink a 12-pack after work everyday to deal with his shit. Unlike Bob, we instead hit all the drive-thrus or closet-eat an entire Oreo package. But just like Bob, we're just trying to feel better.

When you want to lose weight, you have to mentally prepare to meet this shit head on. We think losing weight and being skinny is going to make us happy. We think it will solve everything. I’m hear to tell you this… it doesn’t. Believe me, the size of your ass doesn’t make you happy. A tight little ass might remind you of all your hard work and make you proud. It might make you have a little more confidence and give you a little extra pep in your step. And it definitely makes shopping easier. But it doesn’t make you happy. 

Being happy isn’t an emotion. It’s a choice. You don't have to wait to be at goal weight to be happy. You can choose to be happy right now.

If you lose all of your weight and you haven’t acknowledged why you got fat in the first place or discovered new healthy ways to cope with your issues, you will at some point find yourself eating your way back to your comfort zone.

And listen, I’m not telling you to drudge up all your past hurts and rehash them or analyze them. That isn’t necessary. What I’m telling you is to prepare for old nasty shit to resurface. Know that it will happen so it doesn’t blindside you.

Okay, so now what? What do you do when these skeletons pop out of the closet? The answer is very simple. 

Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for any past mistakes. Forgive yourself for not dealing with them in a healthy way. Forgive yourself for eating yourself into obesity. It is extremely rare for someone to start dealing with a new problem in a healthy and positive way. I mean we are all human, our emotions are very powerful and let’s be honest, we want the quick fix. Nobody wants to hurt. So we pick up the nearest thing around that will bring us comfort in the quickest way possible. Instant gratification. The thing nearest me happened to be a pan of brownies. Well, actually I had to go to the pantry and get the box out and then bake them… but that was still a helluva lot quicker than dealing with my sadness or depression. Hell, and it tasted damn good too.

So forgive yourself for whatever it was that got you into this situation. It’s okay that you dealt with it in a shitty way. What’s not okay is to continue that pattern after knowing better. And you can’t know better until you acknowledge the pain and forgive yourself for it. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself over and over for fucking up. You just need to allow yourself to move on. You deserve to live with joy and peace.

Forgive yourself for the times you’ve been horrible to yourself. Forgive yourself for the times you’ve been horrible to others. And if your past holds memories of someone else who was horrible to you, give yourself a chance to heal from that by embarking on this journey. A journey that will teach you how to love yourself and show you how amazing and strong you really are.

Let the past teach you how to live in the present. Let the past show you how to be a better person. You're past does not define you. You can pick and choose which parts to take from it and keep with you and you can leave all the bad shit behind you where it belongs. Only keep the parts of your past that serve you well and give yourself permission to let go of the rest. You've let it all eat you up for far too long. You can choose to have a clean slate at any time. 

When you want to lose weight, you have to mentally prepare to hit some obstacles. One of my biggest mistakes was that I convinced myself every time I started a new diet that this time it was going to go great, this time I was going to sail through it and not stop. You will hit obstacles. You will not have smooth seas the entire time. You will get off course every once in a while. It’s okay. You’re supposed to.

Do not expect to drop mad weight regularly with absolutely no setbacks. That is an impossible scenario and if you tell yourself that, you will set yourself up for failure and you will take a huge hit... which will probably end up with you diving face first into a vat of Ben & Jerry's... for about six months.  A weight loss journey isn’t easy and it sure as hell isn’t predictable. You’ll be thrown for loops here and there. But everything in life worth anything demands hard work and dedication. Believe me, it’s worth it! It’s worth it a million times over.

My weight loss journey taught me how to use healthy nutrition and fitness as a portal into a whole new world where I learned to love myself, to really see my strengths and purpose. Everybody’s journey means something different and unique to them. But I can guarantee you this, your journey will end up having nothing to do with the size of your ass.

So if you really want to mentally prepare to lose weight, you will need to accept that you’ll have to deal with some shit totally unrelated to actual weight loss, make a choice to be happy now while you work on a better you, and forgive yourself for any past mistakes that have been holding you back.

Once you do those three things, the weight on your shoulders will be gone… and slowly but surely so will all the rest of it. 

{ For more specific information on how to start a weight loss journey or how to get back on track, I give you a step by step program to follow for your FIRST TWO WEEKS in this article. }

" To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself." 

~ Soren Kierkgaard

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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.

NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.