The REAL Reason Why You Need To Go On Your Journey Alone
Warning: Adult language.
*Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.
Going on a journey is kind of like signing up to be on an episode of Fear Factor. You never know what kind of scary shit you're gonna have to do to get to the next step. So many obstacles ahead. It's a very scary moment to stand at the bottom of a mountain and look up at it... it’s even scarier to make the decision to climb the damn thing. But I will promise you one thing, your mountain will make a badass out of you. Even better is that for each and every drop of work you put in, you get a bucket of blessings back.
(And btw, those of you too young to know what Fear Factor is were probably using sippy cups in the early 2000s.)
Let's get back to the mountain, your mountain.
When you take that very first step, everyone in your life will be there at the bottom of that mountain standing next to you. Some will be cheering you on, some will be telling you not to do it, some will secretly believe you won't be able to succeed, and some will secretly hope you don't.
As the days roll by, you'll take your tumbles. You'll doubt yourself often as you weather storms and battle demons you didn't even know you had. After a little while, you'll start to realize that a lot of those people who were there at the bottom of that mountain when you started aren't there anymore.
The higher you climb, the quieter it gets.
…and you begin, for the first time in a very long time, to really listen.
You listen to your inner voice. You listen to your soul. The silence is deafening. The answers you’ve been looking for, the questions you’ve been asking, and the self-assurances that you’ve been in desperate need for are all around you. So loud and so crystal clear.
As you near the top you'll find that there's hardly anyone left. They're not willing to endure the unending scary ridges and dangerous cliffs. They become skittish, weary, and reluctant to continue. And you know what?
This is your mountain, not theirs. They aren't supposed to climb this one, they're supposed to find one of their own.
The higher you get up the mountain, the stronger you get. You find even more drive and determination as you go. You see how far you’ve come and realize that you have it in you to reach the top. It excites you.
It empowers you.
However, if it’s not your mountain and it's not your journey, the higher you climb, the more frightening it becomes. One slip can be deadly and one false move can leave you stranded. In other words... no one wants bothered with shit that isn't theirs.
People sometimes don't even mean to come off like they don't care. Your rail thin aunt who has no idea what it's like to be fat doesn't have a clue why you'll be moved to happy tears when you can finally shop in a regular store. Your husband who doesn't eat sweets and couldn't care less about them has no idea what a milestone it is for you to make your son's birthday cake and not eat half of the container of icing. Your friend who can eat like it's her friggin job and never gains a pound has no idea it hurts your feelings when she teases you about counting calories. You have to understand that people can only truly understand their experiences. Some try to empathize and genuinely mean well, but you can't expect them to care about your goals like you do. You won't be able to make them truly understand your whys and how much your journey is a part of you.
It’s not fair to ask anyone to go on a journey that is only meant for you and it’s not fair to ask of them to truly understand what it is inside of you that’s driving you up this goddamned mountain. Not only is it an impossibility to do so, but this journey is special and it's only to be experienced by you. I hate to break this to you but if you don't already know this, people are famous for disappointing us when we put too much faith in them. Trusting others with something as special as your personal journey, that they have no business being a part of, is a recipe for disaster. Most of the people in our lives don't intend to hurt us, but it still sometimes happens. It's great to have support and there will be people in your life that are truly rooting you on and encouraging you. This is a wonderful thing! I'm not saying push people away when they ask questions and talk about your journey. I'm saying don't rely on them to get you to where you need to be. YOU have to be the one that puts in the work and YOU are the only one who will truly understand what reaching your goal means to you. It's 100% an internal process.
Now let's take a moment to talk about assholes.
I mentioned before that most people will have no intentions on hurting you. They may come off that way and may not support you like you want them to, but they don't want to see you fail... they're just not insanely worried about you succeeding either. Unfortunately, sometimes we do come across some haters. Sometimes it's someone we least expect it to be. It will hurt you when you’re up against those who not only don’t understand it, but discourage and degrade you for it. But you must keep forging ahead anyway. Do your best to forgive them and realize that their opinions and unwillingness to understand you have absolutely no bearing on your journey. They’re battling their own struggles that they haven’t yet been able to face. And if after trying over and over again to politely deal with these people yet they continue to bring you down, I personally favor the option of telling them to fuck off. I'm not encouraging you to do so, I'm just reminding you that it's an option ;)
Know in your heart that you need to do this for you… so that you can be the person you were meant to be. So that you can be a better mom, wife, friend, daughter… so you can be a better human being. You’re no good to anyone if you’re unhappy and withdrawn.
Don’t you dare let someone’s disparagement make you untie your climbing shoes and convince you to rappel down that mountain. That mountain is yours and you need to hold fast and continue upward. Don’t you stop until hit the top of that son of a bitch.
Everyone has their own picture of what is necessary. Don't let someone else's opinion or disillusionment blur your vision. You know what you want and need. Don't let other people's words steer you off course.
You will find so much strength inside of yourself during your passage. And when you finally are standing at the very top of that mountain, it is then that you'll realize you're supposed to be alone at the top of that mountain.
This was your mountain to climb, not anyone else's. You are supposed to get to the top knowing you did this on your own.
You crushed that mountain and you made it your bitch. You. Just you.
It doesn't mean you can't have loved ones holding your hands the whole way or throwing you a life line when you hit a steep rock but you are the one that has to put the work in. You are the one who has to put in the time, the dedication, the struggle, the sweat, and the constant diligence. And guess what?
You get all the glory.
You earn every drop fair and square. And that's how it's supposed to be. We all have our very own obstacles and our very own mountains to conquer.
At some point in everybody's lives, there'll be a journey waiting for them. In order to become a better version of themselves and become the change that they yearn, they'll have to take it. It may have nothing to do with weight loss or health. There are far too many struggles and demons to count. Everyone has their own plights and it's their own job to overcome them. The one who gets the job done makes the ones who don't feel very intimidated... and sometimes pissed off.
If you're lucky, in the end you'll have those few who shouted encouragement and supported you all along and you'll know that they truly want happiness for you. For those who felt your efforts were wasted and gratuitous, well... they weren't good for you in the first place.
It might surprise you who ends up being avoidant and irritated with you because you are succeeding. It may also surprise you at who genuinely has shown constant support and assurance.
All you need to know is that in the end, the right people will still be there.
We must all respect everyone's individual dreams and desires. It is not our place to discourage or chastise others for what their soul drives them to do. And if someone discourages you from success and happiness, then they will only ever serve as a blockade. They will try to stop you from where you need to go.
This life is fleeting and unpredictable. You must listen to what your inner voice keeps leading you back to. The outside world and the people in it don't know what's best for you. You do. You have the answers.
Stay the course of your journey and trust the process. Trust the driving force so that you can overcome the obstacles. You deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to be proud of who you are and how strong you are. But most of all, you deserve to freely be you. The you that makes her own decisions, the you that lives her own life without bending to someone else's conditions, and the you that never has to fake another fucking smile again.
There are moments in a personal journey that will take your breath away. Beautiful breakthrough moments that will leave you crying tears of joy and gratitude. Gratitude for the lesson, the strength to forage through it, and the willingness to learn it. You will learn so much about yourself, wondrous and amazing things. You'll find courage and bravery you didn't even know you were capable of.
This greatness, this fortitude in you, it was always there. It was just always buried under so much shit you couldn’t see it.
Once we get some time under our belts in our journey, well, you stop being so afraid and you start finding your voice. Your mountain doesn't intimidate you anymore and in a weird way you become grateful for it, it has been teaching you so much. You see how high you've already climbed and the peak doesn't seem so impossible to reach. All of your fear starts being replaced with hope and excitement. All of your “I can'ts” and “I shouldn'ts” are replaced with “Hell yes I can” and “Hell yes I will.”
This deep change in you will scare some people, the people who have their own demons to battle. You will represent what they have not yet done or maybe will never be able to do. You will remind them of their unhappiness.
It's not your job to deal with that, it's theirs.
And it's not your job to deal with that kind of negativity. Life is too short to be held back by someone else. God knows we have enough trouble holding ourselves back, we don't need any help from anybody else.
Life is also too short to hold grudges. Wish them well and part ways hoping they too will find their path and start their trek up their insidious mountain. Until that day comes, if it ever will, they won't ever be able to be happy for you. Again, it's okay. Let them be bitter or jealous or whatever the hell it is they are and just let it go. If it's someone who you can't part ways with, then limit your time with them as much as possible and for God's sake, protect your energy when you're around them. Don't let them drain you.
You will find that when you are truly happy, you won't need others' approval or acceptance. Your light will shine from the inside out. No one will be able to dull your sparkle anymore. Those who love you and are happy for you will still be there. Your light will inspire them. They''ll flutter around you like moths to a lamppost and be in awe of your accomplishments and truly proud of you. But for the haters and the naysayers, your light will hurt their eyes. You'll blind the ever-living hell out of them.
But just as you’ll have miraculous and extraordinary moments along your journey, you'll encounter just as many difficult ones. Journeys are hard and long-lasting. They are trying at times and can seem endless.
But they're supposed to be.
That's what turns you into Wonder Woman when you’re waving that flag at the top of your mountain. Once you take in that view, nothing and no one will EVER be able to hurt you again. You will know unequivocally that you will be able to get back up from anything that will ever try to knock your ass down again.
Make your life what it was meant to be. Grab it by the horns and don't let go.
You can do this!
*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.