Are You Trying To Lose Weight With No Support?
Warning: Adult language
Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.
I will have to carefully choose my words here, because I gotta tell ya, this topic has me pretty fired up. For reals.
In the past week alone, I have had three separate conversations with three different women who have encountered not only resistance but also belittlement in their own homes. These women, after years of being unhappy with themselves and at a loss on how to find the road to health and happiness, have finally made that huge first step toward self-betterment. They have started to eat healthy and have started daily workouts. This is monumental. Crawling out of that rut we get ourselves into and making all those initial changes...well, it's a bitch and it's hard as hell. And it warrants some praise and applause. At the very least it deserves some kind of recognition, big or small. SOMETHING! Do you want to know what these amazing women got for their efforts? A pat on the back? A 'that's great honey'? Uh, no....they got discouragement and criticism. They got their motivation squelched. They got their hope extinguished. WTH is going on here?!?
First of all, I would like to say to these three women....you are all incredible, beautiful women and I am so very proud of not only your efforts this week but your willingness to change and to learn. Changing is at times nearly impossible. It is natural and inborn for us to RESIST change. Change is scary and is filled with the unknowns. To rise above that instinct and push forward and embrace the idea of change, well, it signifies strength. It signifies readiness. And I'm damn proud of you. I'm sorry you have to try to forge through something that is so difficult all on your own, let alone have someone trying to squash your efforts. But know you are NOT alone. You do have support to pull from and lean on.
Secondly, let me address the haters out there. I know all too well the emotions that success stirs up within those who are around us. I've touched on this subject before in my blog and unfortunately, I need to bring it up again.
Here's the deal. We have all heard the saying 'misery loves company', right? Well, let me tell ya folks, truer words were never spoken. When you are in an rut, people don't mind at all. And I'm not talking about only if your overweight and live in an unhappy, unhealthy rut. I'm talking in general, any kind of rut. As long as you are not too happy, or too positive, most people like being around you. Not only do you fit right into their miserable lives, but you don't threaten them in anyway. In fact, your miserable life might even subconsciously make them feel better about theirs. But try to stand up, brush yourself off, and make better choices. Try to rise above the shit you've gotten yourself into and start to hold your head up high while you grow stronger and happier. Well, watch the F out. Those people, sometimes your closest peeps even, will turn on you. Instead of being happy for you and support you in your endeavors, they will hate it. Hate everything about it. Here's why.
You now represent what they are not. You represent change and hope and hard work. You remind them of what they aren't ready to do. Your 'good' makes their 'bad' stand out. It threatens that pretend world they have going on in their heads. The same pretend world you lived in before you made changes. It sucks. It really does. But you can't let these people hold you back. You only get one life, and it's a very short one at that. Don't stop living it because of someone else.
Dig deep. Find the strength, find the will, and succeed. Despite all the haters, all the negativity, and all the road blocks......succeed anyway. It's your choice. I'm not saying it's an easy choice. But if you want to stop feeling like shit and start feeling like you're worth a damn, you need to power up and barge through it and make the hard choices and do the hard work. Prove all these haters wrong. Prove to them that YOU CAN do this and that YOU WILL do this....with or without them.
And all you men out there that are throwing a wrench in your wives and girlfriends efforts, you should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. Are you afraid they might up and leave your demeaning ass if they get some self-confidence or if they start to look and feel incredible about themselves? You should be MORE worried they will leave you because you are a demeaning ass.
So what do you do if you have no support?
Go find some. Find the one person in your life that will listen to you and support you. We all usually can find at least one person who gives a shit. It sucks if that person isn't the one in your home, but you have to find a way around that. Your happiness depends on it. Start a workout group with some friends or put an ad in the paper to start one up. Go online and find an online weight loss support group. There is a huge online community to pull some support from. A quick google search will get you on the right track to a plethora of help from numerous sites such as http://www.weightlossbuddy.com/ or http://www.peertrainer.com/.
It's hard enough when we hold ourselves back, but if you have made the choice to be healthy and happy, for God's sake, don't let someone else hold you back. Make the changes you need to make, chase after the life you want to live. And if those people truly love you, they will get with the program and catch up to you. But you can't get tripped up on what they are doing or saying. Haven't you done that enough already? It hasn't worked yet.
When I started my weight loss journey two years ago, I sat my family down and explained that mommy had to make some changes. Big changes. It was understood that my workout was a priority and the schedule and plan of each day was going to wrap around it. In the past, I would try to squeeze my exercise in and it would often not get done because we had to go to the mall, or a birthday party, or because of any of the dozens of things a family has to do. I would always be the last to get to do something for myself. Mostly because that's how I set it up. I put everything and everyone else first. Well, guess what, that is bull shit. There is no reason I should put myself last. Putting myself last got me nowhere. I'm just as important as anyone else in my house, and it was about damn time I acted like it. Most households are matriarchal. And let me tell ya something folks. If the mommy is happier, the whole house will be happier. Mood is contagious. If you are stomping around the house mad and depressed and being a complete bitch all the time, everybody is feelin' it.
And even if you have a long way to go before you meet your end goal, working toward something gives you purpose. It gives you a sense of direction. You can reach happy a helluva lot quicker than you can reach your goal. Weight loss is as much an emotional journey as it is a physical one. And when you find something to work toward, it gets your mind right. Trust me on this.
Just remember, you are only allotted so many moments in this life. Don't get stuck in a place you don't want to be because somebody else is making ill use of their moments by trying to discourage you. Envision the life you want. Set your goals to get there. And go. Prove to everyone, especially to yourself....that you deserve to be happy, that you're gonna work for it, and by God, you're gonna get it.
And those moments...well...don't forget...time is ticking.
*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.