Wish the Haters Well and Keep On Smiling
Warning: Adult language.
Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.
Do you see the look on my face in the above pic? That's the face I give to Haters.
It's my 'You-Can-Say-Anything-You-Want-But-I-Know-You're-Full-Of-Shit-And-I'm-Not-Sorry-That-I'm-Happy-So-Suck-It face.
Ya, I know, it's a mouthful. But believe me, it took me six years to perfect that face. I roll up all of that in one smirk. You can't see it in the pic but I'm wearing one of my favorite tanks. It says, "Don't Wish For It, Work For It". Which is very appropriate for the topic of this article since I will be talking about some of the consequences of working hard and reaching goals. The number one consequence is dealing with Haters.
This article goes out to anybody who has been working very hard on their health and fitness and has had some run-ins with a hater or two... or ten. I've had many women lately talk to me about this subject. These women have been on their weight loss journeys and are now starting to have some success and their results are being noticed by others. They are being met with disdain and adversity rather than the encouragement that they'd not only expected to get, but had hoped for.
For those of you who have just begun your weight loss journeys and haven't yet started to see results, this article is for you as well. Because believe me, as much as you don't think this will be an issue for you, it will be. It will blow your mind and break your heart to find out who in your life isn't really who you think they are. I'm not saying everyone will find a problem with your new found health and happiness. But there will be a few and you need to be prepared...there will be bitches.
It has been six years since I started my weight loss journey. It took me two years to lose the weight (120+ pounds) and I've now kept it off for four years. I still have friends and family who make comments, very hurtful comments. But even though this issue isn't new to me, I myself have noticed a higher volume of haters since summer rolled around. The haters seem to be everywhere! Late spring/early summer seems to be the most disgruntled months for a lot of women. My best guess is that in the colder weather we are all covered up and wrapped in layers. Nobody really notices the results from all of your hard work and dedication. But then summer rolls up on us and we're donning more revealing clothes. Shorts and tanks replace bulky sweaters and cozy fleece pants, flip flops replace snow boots, and sun-kissed skin replaces red, chapped cheeks. Everybody's happy, right?! Well, not everybody.
Winter months are hard on everybody, even those of us who are very health and fit-minded. You're stuck in the house more, there are goodies everywhere you look, and the cold weather just makes you want to cozy up on the couch with a blankie. It's tough to stay on track. But while all of us are holed up in our houses and feeling the warm, traditional, holiday spirit, some of us are still maintaining the healthy grind. Once the weather breaks after the long, cold winter most people are finding their clothes snug and are reeling from yet another failed New Year's Resolution attempt to lose the winter weight. I think it makes some people extra sensitive to those around them who are looking healthy and fit. They don't take a minute to realize or really think about the fact that the people they're sneering at have put in over a 100 hours of working out over the winter and have maintained healthy eating through all of the holiday temptations.
Now when you get these sneers, huffs, and eye rolls from complete strangers, it's off-putting and after a while can get annoying but it's pretty easy to brush off. But family and friends... well that is a different story. It's hard to deal with after a while. You're trying to better yourself. You're trying to make good changes, ones that will get you healthier and happier, and you're willing to put in an enormous amount of hard work to achieve it. When you have people in your life, who are supposed to love and support you, make snide and downright rude comments to you, it is extremely hurtful. I mean, when your fat everybody just loves you to death. But lose some weight and start feeling good about yourself and everybody loses their damn minds.
What it really comes down to is that their insulting words and behavior have absolutely nothing to do with how they feel about you and everything to do with how they feel about themselves. It doesn't make it any easier to swallow but at least it's a clear cut reason for their actions. They are very unhappy and miserable with themselves. On a day to day basis they try to hide from their reality and pretend they don't need to make any changes of their own. When you are standing right in front of them, you are a blaring reminder of all that they try to forget. You represent everything they want to be but haven't yet found the strength to become. So despite how they are suppose to love you, their own issues and struggles are riding shot gun.
You have to try not to internalize these interactions and keep reminding yourself that as much as their love and support would be wonderful to have, you don't need it to reach your goals. It would be nice, and it's a damn shame you're not getting it, but you don't need it.
You must learn to rely on yourself. You, after all, are the only one on your journey. Not everybody will understand why this is so important to you. That's okay. It sucks and it's upsetting but it's okay. Only you need to understand it.
Don't ever let anyone take your success away from you. Nobody knows your true struggle and what you've been through. Nobody knows the strength you have had to muster up and pull from to get the job done each and every day.
Let the haters keep on hatin' and you just keep concentrating on being a better you. If someone has a problem with you bettering yourself and making healthy changes, then they have a whole shit-load of problems of their own. Just keep pluggin' away. Those who truly love you AND who are good for you will be happy for you. Anybody else doesn't matter.
Don't ever give anyone the power to make you feel bad for trying to do something good. Keep all that power for yourself. You're gonna need it.
*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.